1. |
"it was twelve-ten"
01:06
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I was packing up the car, getting ready to leave about noon,
And i got on the road and at...
As i was driving, the wind was picking up
And it looked like there was going to be a storm
That kind of was blowing through.
And, uh, it started to rain and i was, uh,
About half a mile from i-94 --
Which would be the expressway i would take
To head first to the east and then south to
Dayton. and, uh, a tree limb had fallen in the road.
And my last memories are two things:
An suv climbed over the branches of the tree
On the lane coming toward me, but the limb
Was so large in my lane that there was no way
I was getting over or around it.
And so i pulled off to the side,
Parked my car,
Pulled the parking brake,
And it was twelve-ten.
And that's the last memory i have of that day
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2. |
Tupperware for Glass
04:25
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I know i never call you on a work day
And i'm gonna call your sisters after this
We're not quite sure what happened
We're calling it an accident for now
There isn't more that we can do
I'll call you back when we got
A bit more news
I only drink high fructose on occasion
I traded all my tupperware for glass
And that's all helpful stuff
If we live long enough
I guess we'll improvise the rest
As it comes up
They don't know how long
He's gonna lie there
And he's too weak to use the telephone
It's looking pretty dire
Could come right down to the wire
And i don't wanna say goodbye alone
So get some sleep make some coffee
And hit the road
Drive up tomorrow morning
I pray to god it's boring but if not
I'm gonna need to see my son
I'm driving on the highway crying northward
Praying you'll be there when i pull up
And the campus parking nightmare
Feels more corrupt than healthcare
When i swipe my credit card
To see my dad
Hold my breath and echo down the hallway
Right before my fingers touch the door
I see every song unspooling
Rearranging and retuning
Til they settle on
The only things we know
We live and we die
And in between we grow
I only drink high fructose on occasion
I traded all my tupperware for glass
And that's all helpful stuff
If we live long enough
I guess we'll improvise the rest
As it comes up
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3. |
In the Corner
06:37
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When i look at you
I don't know what i'm supposed to do
I just take a seat
In the corner
When you're coming to
Every single time you're just like new
We tell you where you are
Why we're with you
I didn't know a day could move this slow
I'm feeling all the time
I didn't know to hold tight or let go
I'm looking for a sign
Can they fix you in time
I sit in the corner as the tv shows
Something you can't see
Eyes all washed out by the morphine
And when you find the strength
To wake up to the room
We get hopeful in the icu
That you'll still be you
If you pull through
When you look away
I don't know what i'm supposed to say
I'm picking my guitar
Hope that's ok
Get well bouquets
Headed to the spot where mom crochets
A bittersweet parade
Through the doorway
I didn't know
A week could move this slow
I'm feeling all the time
I didn't know
To hold tight or let go
I'm looking for a sign
Can i make things alright
Can i play
Something soft enough
To dull the pain
Something light and sweet
Can i find a way to rearrange
Every little beep that comes
From these machines
Into your paternal symphony
With your weary heart on timpani
Can it lift the nurses off their knees
Can it put the surgeons all at ease
Can it cure the world of disease
Can i play something to keep you here
Can i play something to quell our fear
Can i play something to make things clear
Can i play something to keep you here
Can i play something to keep you here
Can i play something to keep you here
Can i play something to keep you here
Can i play something to keep you here
Will you still be you
If you pull through
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4. |
"trying to be helpful"
00:42
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So
I mean
I think there's this
Underlying investigation
Of my memory
And my knowledge
And my decision making
And in some ways it
Felt over time as if
I was always being tested
Uh, like
Tested
Will I make
The right choice
Or
Will I make
Another wrong choice
And the worst part
Of the whole accident
Was that I don't
Even know what I did
Wrong to have myself fall
So I couldn't confirm
Or guarantee to anyone
That I wouldn't do it again
Cause, I was
Like
Just trying to be helpful
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5. |
Church
03:53
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When we go out to the church
And we file in the pews
So an older man
With silk soft hands
Can tell us what to do
I try to fold my hands
Like a good young catholic can
And do my best to pray
But that won't make him stay
If today's the day
When our loss makes us confused
Our emotions melt down too
And they run like watercolor inks
In red and green and blue
And I laugh when I should cry
Cause I know we're gonna die
But I never imagined it
Would be by accident
Is it happening
But god can't keep you here
If it's your time to go
But he might sand the edges down
And keep your soul at peace for now
And I know the best case scenario
Gives us eighty years or so
There's just no way to know
You built your kids a fort
Out of screws and two-by-fours
But halfway through it fell on you
And it split you like a sword
Your friend took you inside
And your wife came home to find
David on his back
With a housemate stitching a crack
With his air force first aid pack
But love can't keep you here
When it's your time to go
But it might hold the cold at bay
And fill the potholes in your way
And I know the best case scenario
Gives us eighty years or so
I just don't want you to go
Til we're all unbearably old
Songs won't keep you here
When it's your time to go
But they can stand here in your place
And keep some of your memories safe
And I know the best case scenario
Kicks the can on down the road
But I just don't want you to go
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6. |
Sale Today
05:20
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I woke up on the edge of the morning
And i nearly fell in
Slid through the day
In my worn out old shorts
Fell asleep in them again
The things that we use feel so useful
When they put us to sleep late at night
But then in the morning
My head isn't up for the fight
And the words we use
When we feel helpless
Never quite capture it right
So you don't have to listen baby
Just hold me is fine
Sale today
Ten til five
Sticks and skates
And old flash drives
Estate sales a few blocks from campus
The gold mines you taught me to see
The treasures passed down
From retirement crowds
To frugal types like you and me
The things on display draw an outline
To strangers and loved ones alike
To take what they see
And ask who it might be
To use all these things for a life
So you pay a bit under the asking
But you make sure to stay in your lane
Cause you could be next
And i could be making the change
Sale today
Ten til five
Stereos
Some hi-fi
I don't wanna think about it
The people we love may still love us
Long after we're all dead and gone
But what else to do with old
Knick-knacks and shoes
But arrange them in rows on the lawn
Post a few signs on the corner
Pick out a few good dates and times
To haggle with strangers
And hope that the weather stays nice
Sale today
Ten til five
Good used suits
Slim in size
I don't wanna think about it
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7. |
Dinners I
01:02
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If we lose dad
Then how will we make dinner
I haven't had a meal in weeks
That wasn't bland or bitter
So on top of almost everything
The small things feel much bigger
If we lose dad then how will we make dinner
A good samaritan half awake at u of m
Feeds all the doctors nurses surgeons
And us nervous next of kin
But when i stop in to visit him
I feel like i'm a sinner
If we lose dad then how will we make dinner
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8. |
Sale Today Canon
00:31
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9. |
"so, why?"
00:52
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It happened in such a way
That everything came into question
Right
Am i gonna be able to
Take care of myself
Ok, i'm taking care of myself pretty well
But can i take care of my family
Cause there's a lot of this
After the injury stuff
That you're just recovering
But you're not -- you don't feel like
You're contributing anything to anybody
You're just costing
I mean, it's really about
What's your purpose
And i think we all question our purpose
Clearly, for me, after the accident
I realized that
Alright i'm here. i'm alive. so why
Right? and what should i take from that
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10. |
Couch Song
04:22
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Your couch sits catty corner by the door
And the breeze blows in
Through the old bay window
And shouts out yesterday's scores
And i haven't washed up yet
But it's got some advice of course
It says just strum these chords
And i'm sure you'll find love my boy
Just strum these chords
And they'll all say they love your voice
And your blanket by the window
Loosely crocheted
By a well meaning mother
Who is yet to discover
She was making
Makeshift drapes
That trap every tempting scent
That stumbles in from
The neighbor's home smoke breaks
And i don't do that yet but
Maybe i will someday
For now i sit on the couch
And the absence adjacent me
Misplaces complacency while
Hope sings like a little bird
I caged up for company
Always reminding me
So unkindly that
Couches need people too
And your rug ornamental
From early days
A grown up purchase that you
Weren't sure was worth it
But perfect to soften a space
For us kids on our knees to
Crawl and feel free to
Fall down on our face
And now my head it hangs
As i count all the carpet stains
While we grow and we change
And the absence adjacent me
Misplaces complacency while
Hope sings like a little bird
I caged up for company
Always reminding me
So unkindly that
Couches need people too
I need people too
And the absence adjacent me
Misplaces complacency while
Hope sings like a little bird
I caged up for company
Always reminding me
So unkindly that
Couches need people too
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11. |
To Keep Him Here
06:08
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Sticky notes
By the basement stairs
Tell him not to go down there
Cause if he falls
One more time
He could vanish
She drives them down
In drywall with
A slender old dark nail
Doubtless picked up
Some years back
A steal at a yard sale
It'll take some time
Till he goes for a drive
Hems and haws and haggles hard
Til the price is right
It could be years
Of hopes and fears
Doing everything we can
To keep him here
Lead him to the toilet for
The first time in my life
White knuckles grip my shoulders like
A theme park safety bar
When he sits down
He looks so small
A fragile hollow shell
So we talk tiny
Crack a joke
Thankful he can't smell
It'll take some time
Til he skates on ice
Shoots and scores
And pumps his fist
Comes home late at night
It could be years
Of hopes and fears
Doing everything we can
To keep him here
It'll take some time
Til he skates on ice
Shoots and scores
And pumps his fist and
Comes home late at night
It could be years
Of hopes and fears
Doing everything we can
To keep him here
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12. |
Dinners II
02:22
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A good samaritan
Half alive at u of m
In a dilaudid haze
For nine straight days
Was bound for bethlehem
So when we sign for him
And buckle in
He grins like some big winner
Cause he's still here
And we can manage dinner
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13. |
Tough Luck
03:16
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I've been better but i'm fine
Roughed up but alright
Not much else to say
I can't remember anyway
Did susan really stay the night
Lighten up
That's a joke round here
We're all a little slower
Than we were last year
But my head's on straight
With a velcro brace
And my heart is more midwestern
Than the look on my face
I've seen worse things in life
But all that was online
And every time you speak
You just keep saying i'm sorry
And every time we brush it aside
Brighten up
All your family's here
It's just a dress rehearsal
For your hospice years
And now we'll know
How to help you go
But no one's going nowhere
Til we're taking you home
Still every time you speak
You just keep saying i'm sorry
And every time we brush it aside
Who cares
You're alive my dear
And we're more like a family
Than we've been in years
You're worse for wear
So don't take the stairs
Cause we're not taking chances
No we're keeping you here
Tough luck
You're stuck my dear
Living the remainder
Of your middle-aged years
And the surgeons say
It's your lucky day
So half a year of rehab
You'll be in the clear
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